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Healing the Pain of Being Selfless With Boundaries
Boundaries serve to protect you in all areas of life, especially in relationships and work.
In a relationship, boundaries are so important to protect not only yourself but your partner. Because once boundaries are crossed both parties are disrespecting themselves. Any disagreement can only get worse if boundaries are crossed.
In this society we praise being selfless which fosters the idea that we should not have boundaries. Boundaries are your vault to protect what is most essential to you and who you are. Without them, everything that is important to you is given up as a free for all. And eventually you will feel empty.
We need to take care of ourselves. We need to be the caretaker for ourselves and not be the caretaker for others. Your only responsibility is yourself. You are not responsible for others. You can have the desire to help others, but you’re not responsible for other people’s problems. That is what I feel is the root of the pain of selflessness. Selflessness means that all that is important to you no longer exists.
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What is Your Anxiety Trying to Tell You?
The feeling of anxiety is a big part of what makes us human. However the feeling of anxiety can be very overwhelming and even painful that we try to fight it and avoid it at all costs. This only makes it grow. What we need to do differently is learn to face our anxiety and understand what it is about.
When I come to face to face with my anxiety, I see it is often a major sign that I have forgotten about myself. It is when I have made others my main priority and have forgotten to place myself as a top priority and also have forgotten who am I at the core. Since anxiety is often about the fear of loss, what we fear is that we will lose our value and self-worth. But the truth is you cannot lose your core. Your core is indestructible and will always be with you. Your core is the most beautiful part of yourself.
Listen to this coaching session around the client’s feeling of anxiety and think about what is the source of your anxiety as you learn to face and understand it.
This is the second coaching session for this guest client. You can listen to the first session here: http://www.healfromthegroundup.com/stabbing-ourselves-with-our-past-wounds/
We’ve all had an upbringing that has grealty shaped who we are and what life expereinces we have. The problem is that we only feel the pain of our past wounds without having any idea where it comes from. I personally suffer from anxiety of trying to feel safe and using things like work productivity and accomplishments to feel this temporary and superficial feeilng of safety. In the next episdoe, I will be the client and you will see what is the underlying cause to my need to feel safe and the anxiety caused by it.
As you listen, what I ask of you is to dig deep and think about the underlyng roots to your negative emotions and feelings. Our emotions are only the tip of the icerberg and to be free of them we must see roots of the problem within the body of the iceberg underneath the water.
What you will often see as the root of the problem is how we stab ourselves with our past wounds and hurt. How we recreate the pain of our past.
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